The Green-Eyed Monster Called Envy (a.k.a. Jealousy)

“Envy is more irreconcilable than hatred.” So said Francois de La Rochefoucauld, a French writer. And how sadly right he is.

Envy in the workplace is not uncommon and yet often unmentioned.  It is silent, yet it is there, woven within the fabric of organizations. It affects employee moods, organizational morale and culture.  It is one of the causes of employee disengagement and productivity loss.

It also destroys even the closest friendships and the most loving couples in the workplace. 

For me, personally, I do not think envy, per se,  is evil.  It just becomes so when one reacts negatively towards someone he or she is envious of. 

I think it is not bad to say, “I envy her good looks,” or “I envy his talent.”  What’s bad is when you cannot make yourself decently interact with that particular person because of your envy.  It is bad when envy blinds you to hate the person you are jealous of, when you cannot stand to be even at the same room with him, or when you cannot even bring yourself to talk to her normally, much less look at her in the eyes.  Worse, when envy makes you do or wish bad things on the person you are envying–his downfall, his heartbreaks, or–this is so extreme–his death.

On the other hand, envy can drive someone to perform better in his job, a gentle push to educate oneself to be worthy of that long-wished-for promotion.  It can make us strive to nurture a deep, lasting relationship with whom we’re envious of, knowing that in the process, we will be able to learn good things from his example and way of life–and become a much improved individual. 

If we envy someone, we must make every effort to eliminate the negative emotions or actions we are feeling–especially if that someone is close to our heart. Bitching around or giving him the silent treatment will not add one iota of perfection in our already flawed personality.  I think it is also undeserving for someone to be treated that way. 

If we are the object of envy, we must do our best to be what we are and not what others want us to be.  It can also help to befriend that someone who is envying us.  But when he or she reject our efforts continously, there is nothing wrong or bad with us.  Sometimes we want to give ourselves to the people who are envying us, going all-out to be friends with them, with the purpose of making them feel they’re a part of us and that there is nothing to be afraid of or threatened about us.  When all else fails, don’t blame yourself. It’s envy that’s eating up on them–and they are the ones on the losing end. 

A last word to the envious–just think: wouldn’t it be better to live harmoniously and contentedly with one another, rather than biting our heads off or not speaking to one another?

This entry was posted on Saturday, November 14th, 2009 at 9:01 am and is filed under Workplace. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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