The All-Too Familiar Sisters’ Rivalry
“My sister and I don’t see eye to eye. We disagree on just about everything!”
“She always tells me what to do. She wants to control my life!”
“When we see each other, it’s like World War II all over again.”
These are just some of the things we hear about sisters in conflict with one another. And almost always, the aggrieved party is the younger sister and the elder one is the antagonist.
I chanced upon this poignant article in an old, old magazine that brings a whole new light to the elder sister. Perhaps, in reading this, younger sisters can have a better, deeper understanding of their older sis.
“You say I don’t understand you and your feelings.
“Maybe it’s because you don’t realize that I feel for you, and you really do not hear any word I say, for it was drowned by your haughty and forceful voice, so unlike the sweet, hushed tones you use to your pals.
“You say I never believe in you.
“Maybe because you don’t hear me shamelessly brag about you—being independent, so sure of yourself—in my circle of friends, whom you avoid like the plague.
“You say I meddle in your affairs, that I want to control you.
“Maybe because you don’t realize how much I wish the best for you and that I don’t want you to make the same mistakes that I did—knowing it would be truly painful and will leave a terrible scar in your heart.
“You say I am firm and unbending, while you are vulnerable and weak.
“Maybe you don’t realize the gravity of my own battles —how hurt and tired I am, and how hard it takes for me to be strong and not break down.
“You say I’m insensitive and a dry-eyed, unmoving woman.
“Maybe because you don’t see how affected I am by your accusations and how at night, crying and restless in bed, my mind goes back again and again to our heated exchanges—wondering what really is the reason we fought.
“You say I’m envious of you and your accomplishments, and would have wanted to benefit from you.
“Maybe you don’t see how far I move back when it’s your time to shine, and that from the sidelines, I was the first one to applaud you, happy and proud of you.
“You say I don’t make the effort to talk to you heart-to-heart and have bonding times with you.
“Maybe because when I would have wanted to talk to you, you wanted something to do differently, so I gave you space and waited until the time is right for you. And I’m still waiting.
“Maybe if you could just try to know me, to see me as me—the real me—not what you perceive me to be. Not as a strict, uncaring individual but a sister who sincerely, genuinely loves and cares for you.”
Perhaps the older sister isn’t such a witch, after all.
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